Overcoming my Quarter-Life Crisis: “Application for Support Role”

Currently accepting applications for the position of Support Role. You will be employed under a brilliant, talented individual with endless hopes and dreams. As a support role your duties will include supporting my financial, emotional, and physical needs. The qualifications include male, attractive, rich, and smart. The candidate must be proficient in life skills such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry. The Support Role must be willing to drop what they’re doing at any moment to help me through struggles while multitasking a full-time work schedule elsewhere, to keep up community appearances of a higher society and to assure financial means. There must not be any discussion of finances. However, there must be available funds to support my hopes and dreams at all times.

The compensation and benefits package for this position include, occasional sexual favors, only if it does not interrupt the creative process, the pride in supporting a future success story, and not being alone.

If considered for this position, the next steps will be the interview process. You will be assigned to impress me with a nice dinner and a 500 question personality test. You will also be required to pass an extensive background check to make sure you’re not a pedophile or have a criminal history.

If you meet these qualifications and are interested in this position, please submit your resume, a picture, a letter of intent, and your latest bank statement. A sense of entitlement over me as a Support Role will result in immediate firing, with up to six months of continued financial support.

 

Like what you read? Check out more blog posts like this one by visiting “Overcoming my Quarter-Life Crisis”

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